My Version
by Night Angel Gunny
Summary: AO: This is my version of Tony and Gibbs relationship but in mine Tony is a female. There is all the hard headed two people but there is some difference in Tony history. But if you don't like Tony switching sexy don't read please.
1. Author's Note

**Hello all I have a beta that helps me out when I need to have some of my stories edited her name is Lauradaexplorer she has done good work with the chapters I asked her to work for so please enjoy the stories she deserves some of the praise making my stories readable.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS. I do own Tony Sorelli.**

**Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Tony Sorelli.**

**Story: Okay this is a major AU. I have seen some people do this with characters from shows. I have changed Tony sex and changed his past for my own benefit for my story. If you don't like it please don't read because this is my version. This is towards the end of season five episode seven "Requiem".**

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I had run to the dock and dove in to where Gibbs and Maddie were. I got Maddie first and dragged her up, I was glad she was still breathing even if it was shallow. I dove back down and pulled Gibbs, up it had taken a lot out of me and I was glad I was able to get him to the surface. He wasn't breathing so I performed CPR on him until he began breathing. I wasn't worried about the pain in both my ears or why I couldn't hear much, I heard the ambulance approaching and then I passed out there right next to Gibbs and Maddie. When I woke up I looked around and realised I was in a hospital bed, I saw Abby and she looked at me and smiled. I could feel something on my ears and Abby signed to me; "How are you feeling Tony? You had us all worried. Boss man just went to get some coffee. The rest of the team has been waiting for you to wake up."

The one thing Abby and I had in common was that we had someone deaf in our houses growing up and we had to learn American Sign Language to communicate with them. I looked at her but I didn't want to ask why I couldn't hear, I could remember when I was bringing Gibbs up I had felt serious pain in my ears but my major concern was making sure that Gibbs and Maddie were okay. "How is Maddie? Tell the rest of the team to go home and you should too; this was a hard case I know everyone has to be worn out. I'm awake and breathing now, there is nothing to worry about."

Something Abby and I had in common was that Abby parents were deaf and my older brother was deaf so I had learned sign at an early age, my mother knew it because her mother was deaf. The fact that I couldn't hear a damn thing had started to set in. Abby signed to me "Are you kidding? We are worried about you and want to make sure everything is okay. Both your ear drums burst and I know you can't hear anything the doctors are not sure if it's going to be permanent or not."

My parents and brother had died in a car accident when I was thirteen and I was sent in to foster care until I was eighteen. I leaned back, I had been through harder things then this but I didn't like the fact I may never hear again. I signed to her. "Abby whatever the hell happens is going to happen. I don't think I am going to die don't need the whole team setting around worrying about me."

I had wanted to join the military when I was a kid, it was a dream of mine. When I was fourteen I got really sick, they had found tumours around my kidney and removed them. After they removed the tumours I was still getting sick and fading badly, they found out that my kidney had a disease and the only thing they could do was to remove it and there ended my ideas of joining the military so I became a cop. Gibbs walked in and looked at me setting his coffee down he signed; "You're finally awake."

I had great respect for the man who hired me and has trained me to be who I am today. I had also fallen in love with him and I wanted to make sure that he was proud of me and I smirked at him signing; "Glad drowning didn't hinder your keen detective skills Boss. Ya I am awake, get it through Abby's head that I am okay and that she and the rest of the team need to go home and get some sleep, it was a hard case. All is right with the world now."

In my head that was wrong because I couldn't hear a damn thing that was going on around me. I also knew that this case had brought back some painful memories for him because it was his daughter's best friend that came looking for his help. He walked over, sat down and looked me in the eyes signing; "I Sent McGee and Ziva home to get some sleep. But if you haven't noticed, you can't hear anything so not all is right in the world Sorelli."

I just rolled my eyes and leaned back, I was feeling tired, I knew I was probably still drained because of all that had happen and I looked at him with a smirk in my eyes. I was trying to hide the fact that I was scared that I may never hear again but I had learned at a young age that sometimes you can't change things that happen in life. I signed to him. "Well forgive me for thinking that saving a girls and my boss's life is more important than me being able to hear Gibbs. I don't give a shit, you're alive and so is Maddie, so screw it if I can never hear again."

I leaned back and looked at Abby who looked ready to cry and winked at her. When a nurse came in he seemed to know sign language too and he smiled at me and signed telling me he was going to give me something to help me sleep. I needed to get some rest, I was going to be in the hospital for a few days. I nodded to him and as he was putting the shot in to the IV I signed to Abby. "Go home and get some sleep everything is fine and everyone is alive be happy Abby."

I felt myself start to fall asleep and I decided maybe tomorrow I would try to talk because I knew I could and I also knew that I could read lips, another skill that helped me in my job.

I was riding in the car with my family. My parents were in the front seat, my brother and I were in the back signing to each other telling each other new jokes we had learned. My parents were having a fight over something and I was ignoring it, that was happening a lot recently. I heard my mother scream. The next thing I knew I was being pulled out of a car and dragged to safety when I saw the car with the rest of my family in explode.

I woke up screaming and I felt some arms come around me, holding me as I cried in to their chest, holding on to their shirt, then it began to dawn on me who it was. It was Gibbs, I could smell the old spice he always wore. There was a lack of saw dust and bourbon but it was him. I pushed back as I looked at him shaking some and wiped my tears from my face. "I am fine Gibbs."

He looked at me and he raised a brow as he stroked some hair out of my face and wiped a few tears I had missed then he stared to sign. "You were screaming and shaking badly. You sure you're okay? The nurses probably will be here soon. You need to try to rest I'll be here the rest of the night."

I looked at him, I didn't need people worrying about me or thinking they needed to take care of me damn it. I was a big girl, I rubbed my hands along my eyes one last time and leaned back. I didn't need my boss thinking I was some weak person because I had a nightmare and I couldn't hear now. I signed to him still feeling groggy from meds I was on to help me sleep. "Go home Gibbs, I don't need your help. They just want me to rest until they can let me go. Then I can go home to my apartment and be in my own little silent world."

He had become my next of kin along with Ducky when I had joined. The reason being that I had no next of kin alive and no close friends but I had to have someone so he made me put him and Ducky on since he was the one that took care of us if we got sick on the job or hurt while in the office. He signed to me. "Like hell I am leaving and you have no say in this. When you get out you're moving in with me until you can hear again."

I grunted as I looked at him, I was getting mad now, I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them I took a min to figure out what I was going to say, I signed to him; "You have a job to do and a team to run, I don't need to be taken care of by anyone. I know how to sign and I also know how to read lips. I can also speak I have not lost that ability. I am not a child that needs someone to take care of me."

He got up and he got on to the bed he slid his hands in to my hair and made me look at him, I looked at him, shocked at what he was doing, he lowered his head and he kissed me slowly. My hands brushed along his chest as I softly moaned, feeling our lips on each other in a deep kiss my, hands were gripped his shirt as he moved back I stared at him shocked, he signed to me; "I am going to take care of you because you can't just push your deafness it aside and I care about you too much for you to do this alone."

The nurse came in and signed that I needed to sleep, Gibbs moved back to his chair as the nurse put something once again into my IV and I felt myself drift off to sleep wondering why the hell my boss had just kissed me, not like I hadn't dreamed of that happening some day. When I woke up the next day Abby was there and we signed for a bit when the doctor came in I read his lips he told me I could go home today but I had to keep cotton in my ears to ward off infection and I needed to have a check up in a week. After he left Abby handed me a duffle bag with my clothes in it. I went to the bathroom and took a shower and changed. When I came out I found Gibbs, he looked at me and signed; "You ready to go? I got the guest bedroom set up for you."I ignored him as I put my bag on the bed and got all my things, I turned to Abby, as I started to comb my hair I spoke, I couldn't hear myself but I knew what I had said; "Abby can you give me a ride to my apartment. I think I am going to get some more sleep in my own bed and maybe read a book or something."

I felt Gibbs grip my chin and make me look to him he spoke he knew I could read his lips. "You are not going back to your place. If you want we can stop at your place get more then some clothes for you? We can get you some books and your laptop. But you are not going home, you're staying with me, understood?"

If this was how this was going to be, then hell, I should just quit. My parents had been well off and when they died I was left with everything. I had saved it all up because I wanted to make my own money prove to myself that I could. I had enough money to live for the rest of my life quite comfortably. I spoke so he could get this through his head. "Get this straight Gibbs, I am capable of taking care of myself. I am damn sure you have my badge and gun. Keep them and I'll send a letter of resignation to the director."

I had a feeling I was probably deaf for life and I wasn't going to be hearing again and if I could it wouldn't be a hundred percent and that meant I couldn't work for NCIS. I shoved his hand off my chin as I walked past him out to the nurses' station to see what was taking so long for me to get my sign out papers. They had them ready when I got there and I signed them went back and grabbed my bags looked to Gibbs. "Either you take me home or let Abby. If you both won't, suit yourselves, fuck off I'll get a damn cab."

I had lost my temper and I was scared on top of it all Abby looked at me and signed that she would take me home she grabbed my duffle bag and she gave a look to Gibbs as we headed out. When we got to my place she made a list of what to get at the grocery store, I was out of food, she had a spare key. It was odd for Abby not to try and talk me out of this because I knew she agreed with Gibbs. I lay down in my bed and fell asleep, when I woke it was dark out I found a letter from Abby.

Tony,

Stocked the kitchen up with all your favourite things and other things you were going to need. Please forgive Gibbs and move in with him he really cares about you. I keep telling you that he feels the same about you do about him. Let him take care of you and don't be stubborn.

Abby,"

I sighed, maybe I could do that, stay at his place, just to make him feel okay about it all. I walked out to get a glass of milk when I froze, there he was, asleep on my couch with a duffle bag in the chair next to the couch. I pinched the bridge of my nose sighed some as I walked over and shook him. He sat up rubbing his face and I walked into the kitchen to get some milk for myself and give him time to wake up. When I turned around he was there in the door way so I sat down at the kitchen table and said; "Fine seems if I don't stay at your place you're going to stay at mine. The couch isn't a good place for you to sleep so I'll stay at your place until I can figure were I am going from here."

He walked over and put my badge and gun on the table not saying anything, he sat down and leaned back. I pushed it at him looked at him and sighed; "Gibbs there is little chance that I'll ever be able to hear again and if I do, my hearing won't be good enough to work in the field. I am not being stuck on desk work so I quit."

I stood up to put my cup in the sink, I felt him turn me around and he looked at me. I looked him in the eyes, he was mad so I put my hand on his chest to push him away. He looked at me and I read his lips; "Firstly you are not leaving D.C, you have a family here whether you come back to NCIS or not. We care about you and want to help you through this and I am glad you're taking my offer to stay with me. Lastly, I kissed you because I care about you, in a different way than the others and I want you with me until I grow old and die, you got me?"

I pushed past him I couldn't take what he said about how he felt about me right now. I guess staying in D.C could work, I would have to find an apartment that was set up for the deaf. I went to my room, threw a large suitcase down on the bed and started to pack what I was going to need to live at Gibbs' for now. I made sure that I got my back pack and shoved my laptop in it, along with a few other things and was able to get some books in my back pack and in my suit case.

I know that some of this was going to hit me hard, particularly the fact that I couldn't hear and Gibbs telling me how he feels about me. Unfortunately Gibbs wasn't getting the idea that I just wanted to be alone. I zipped up the back pack and suit case and walked in to the living, he took them along with his duffle bag and we then headed to his place. When we got there he showed me the spare room, not saying anything, I went straight to bed and slept as I was worn out from fighting with him and confused about how he felt about me.

Just because I had fallen in love with him didn't mean that I wanted to be in a relationship, I had been hurt and I had a hard life. I knew that people leave you and I didn't want to get that close to Gibbs, to have him leave me. I had already lost a friend like a sister and she was a good agent, Kate had been with us for two years. I set my things in the spare room, he didn't really have to show me, when my apartment goes crazy, like the water going off or the heat goes out this is where I stay. I kicked my shoes off as I sat down, I loved the window view here I dragged my knee to my chest. Laying my head on the side as I watched the snow fall.

I felt someone sit down on the bed, I turned to look at him and raised a brow. I wanted to be here but the danger of something happening between us was strong, he had kissed me and damn, I don't want to resist him. He didn't understand anything and I knew that was because I wasn't telling him anything. He moved some hair out of my face and I closed my eyes for a second, then he signed; "Chinese sound good for dinner because I'm starting to get hungry? Ducky said you need to eat before you take your pills. He will be over tonight to check on you then he will come and check on you in the morning. That's the only way I could get you out of the hospital early."

I looked at him for a second, so that's how I got out a day early. I sat up a bit as I slid my hair out of my face and I looked back at him. I was going to have to get us two signing on a normal basis even if I remembered it all by heart. His finger stroked some of the hair out of my face again. I decided to speak "What ever you want to order, you already know what kind of Chinese food I like, we've been working together long enough Gibbs."

I could see him sigh as he stood up, he smoothed my hair with his hands, I closed my eyes and looked up watching him walk right out the door. I positioned the pillows as I lay on my side putting a pillow against my chest and nuzzled in to it sighing, okay, now it was sinking in that the doctor said there was about a ten percent chance that I'll hear again. Good possible if that ten percent chance happen that my heart would be half as good as it was before I lost it. I pulled the covers over me watching the snow as I feel asleep.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS. I do own Tony Sorelli.**

**Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Tony Sorelli.**

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I felt someone slide their hands down my hair, it felt similar to how my brother used to wake me up to get me ready for school. I turned on my back and I saw Gibbs sitting on the bed he rubbed his hand on my stomach this wasn't what I was us to seeing from Gibbs. He was a hard ass at work, didn't show his emotions and now he was doing a flip, he was still a little bossy but he was being gentle with me. He signed. "Come on foods here and then you can take your medications."

I sat up some and rubbed my face as I started to run my hands through my hair and nodded. I slipped out of the bed and moved to the bathroom, not really feel like saying anything. I washed my face and I walked down stairs, as I moved to the kitchen I went to his fridge. I had brought my own milk knowing that he didn't have any, I poured myself a large glass and sat down, I didn't look at him and started to eat. Half way through our meal he tapped down on the table where I could see his hand, we had done this with my brother I looked at, him he signed; "You're not just here because you need to be helped out, you can also talk to me, you're silent for once, that's not you Tony you usually have a lot to say, even if it's just about some joke or movie."

I looked to him and grunted as I leant back I took a bite and I chewed at it softly. I had to come up with an answer and I don't even know if I knew if I had one right now and I took another bite, he was being patient, god damn why is he being patient that's not like him? I signed to him as I chewed at my food. "Don't need to talk I'm fine I am deaf not dying. If my brother could deal with it for eighteen years I don't see why I can't deal with not hearing anyone."

I grabbed the pills that he had put out for me I downed them with some milk and then grabbed my dishes started to wash them in the sink. He turned me around anger in his eyes, now there is the Gibbs I know, he spoke, he knew I was looking at his lips. "What the hell? Why do you do this when you're not fine, you say you are. Your brother was born deaf and he was used to it because it's all he knew. You were not born this way, you did it, coming up too damn fast because you thought it was a good idea to come after me after you brought Maddie up."

I looked at him what the hell did he just say. I slammed my fist in to his face, guess he wasn't expecting it because it landed right in his eye and I looked at him. I decided to speak, figured I was screaming cause I was angry. "Go to hell Gibbs. You think your life means nothing to me then you seriously need to fuck off. Tell Ducky if he wants to check up on me to come to my place, he has a key."

I walked past him laying on the floor as I moved up to the guest room that I had been in so many times I started to pack my bags that were already basically packed just needed zipped up. I can't take this anymore damn it, he had no right to tell me saving him was a bad thing. I sat down on the bed and grabbed both my ears, damn it hurt, the pain, I closed my eyes trying not to cry as I trembled, this was hurting. I felt hands take my hands down and sighed. "Easy on your ears Tony. I got the shot that Ducky left with me so we can take the pain away."

I grunted, I hated shots, but I watched him load the needle as I closed my eyes letting him put the tourniquet around my arm as he felt for my vein then he slid the needle in, I closed my eyes as he shot the pain medication in to my arm. He eased me down in to the bed and set my luggage down as he pulled the covers over me. The pain was easing, I felt hands running through my hair as I started to fall asleep, I hated the pain, it had worn me out, even if it was eased up enough to help me fall asleep.

I felt someone touch my shoulder and I turned over to see Ducky, he looked at me and smiled, as I sat up he pushed my shirt sleeve up to put the blood pressure cuff on my arm he looked at me. He knew I could read lips and he smirked; "How are you my dear? I am guessing Jethro said something to deserved that black eye. You slugged him hard enough, I looked it over, some ice and the swelling should go down my dear."

He started to do my vitals, I had shrugged at what he had said, as he worked I leaned back against the bed and the pillows, my head was hurting. He took out the cotton in each ear and started to looking in with the right tools. When he was done he sat down in front of me and touched my cheek; "My dear you need to understand that Jethro cares a lot about you. He is just trying to help you, he has a temper that he shows from time to time. You are very special to him dear like he is to you."

I looked at him; "Ducky I am fine, he's worried that I am freaking out because I can't hear. I understand for the next damn week until I go see the doctor again. Then if that all goes well, I can go home no-one seems to get it through their head that I am fine."

Ducky looked at me and shook his head softly, god why does everyone not get that I am fine? Well maybe I'm not fine but I am not acting any differently, other than the not talking a lot. "You are lying badly but I am going to leave you. I need to get home to mother and Gibbs isn't sure what's going on with you."

I watched as he headed out, I rubbed my hands over my face and I leaned back against the pillow, I moved to get up, hell I don't know what to do. I knew where to find him so I walked down to the basement where he would most likely be working on his boat. As I walked down I leaned against the wall as I looked at him. "I'll stay here until Monday morning when you head to work."

He walked over and looked at me, shit, I did give him a black eye, at least his eye isn't swollen shut. He pinned me to the wall his hands on both sides of my head as he looked at me, I could see his lips as he took a deep breath. "I took two weeks off, like I said, I am going to take care of you, make sure you are okay. I am not going to leave you alone to deal with this Tony why can't you let me help you."

I took a deep breath as I moved my hands to push at his chest, I softly looked at him. He was too close to my body. I brought my hand to his face and I slowly kissed him, he responded pressing me slowly into the wall. I slid my hands around his neck as I softly moaned sucking softly on his tongue. I pushed back gently and whispered. "Gibbs, I can't do this, I'm going to head up stairs and get some sleep. Have fun with the boat."

He lowered his head as he slowly started to kiss me, he slid his hands into my hair. I moaned softly as I grab his shirt, pressing up to him as I gently started to suck on his tongue. He pushed his hands softly under, my shirt I moaned again and run my hand down his chest. He lifted me up and carried me up the stairs as we got to the top he kissed me slowly I moaned into it as we went back up stairs. He laid me down in his bed and slid one leg between mine and kissed me leisurely, sliding his hands along my hips. He kissed me again, guiding my tongue in his mouth as his hand strokes my breast, I arched in to his hand.

He pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it to the floor, his head lowered, taking my nipple in his mouth, I softly cried out feeling him nibble on my hard nipple. I put my hands in his hair and quietly moaned as I drop my fingers, undoing his shirt and pushing it off I stroked his bare chest delicately. He kneels between my legs and I groaned with desire. He drew my sweats down and I moaned softly as I sat up and nibbled along his neck as I undid his jeans. He slipped off the bed and took his pants off, he was as hard as a rock and I rested my hands on his chest as he kneeled back down. I slowly mounted him, he didn't stop me as I kissed him slowly sliding his cock deep inside.

He kissed me slowly his hands on mine as I moved on him. I breathed hard as he slid his hands down my back, as he eased me on my back I moaned breathily, my knees slid along his ribs as he started to move in me, arching my back my nails grazed up his back breathing heavily. I gasped softly as I threw my head back and he started to thrust hard, his speed was picking up as I thrust under him moving with him. "I'm going to cum."

I lifted up and bit in to his shoulder as I started to cum around his cock, he started to thrust harder as I moaned he brought his hands down to my hips as he started to cum in me, I moaned softly, sliding my hands along his neck. He was breathing hard against my neck and he rolled over pulling the covers over us, he slid his hands along my stomach pulling me close to him. I was worn out after our love making and I fell asleep as he was spooned up to me, I buried my head in to the pillow and his head nuzzled in to my neck.

I woke up at about 03:00, I stood up and could see a little in the moon light, I grabbed my clothes and moved to his spare bed room, slipping on my sweats and t-shirt. I grabbed socks and shoes as I moved down the stairs quietly and I headed out for a run. I had my wallet and my gun in my ankle holster as I ran along. I lived about two miles from Gibbs so I ran towards my place, I was a mile and a half into my run and I stopped at my favourite diner. Well this was good training, I was able to get through ordering and getting food by reading lips. I leaned back when I got my food I took a bite, I was starved, needed some food, I forgot the need for food after having sex. Since it had been about seven months since I had slept with anyone.

I paid for my food and ran the rest of the way to my apartment, I sat down looking through the photo's of my family as I brushed my fingers along the pictures. I went in to my room and grabbed some things that I had forgotten and put them in a large back pack as I made sure I had some extra things in it. I moved to the kitchen went to grab a bottle water set down and took a long drink. I walked over and turned my computer on and I started to check my email and work through what I needed to do on the computer. I brought a knee to my chest, my foot on the chair as I worked on my email, I had friends, not particularly close ones like at NCIS. There was one in New York City where I had grown up, he was my old partner and was a homicide detective, Don was good at his job. I missed the whole CSI team but they were like family but not like my NCIS family.

"Dear Don,

Hey handsome what's going on you working hard on your cases? Well things got a little crazy here, my boss and someone we were helping out ran their car went in to the lake. I went to save them since no one was there, after bringing the girl up I went back for my boss. Seems I busted both my ear drums and probably won't hear again. But that's all good I can always find something to do and I have money to make sure I can at least live where I want to in an apartment. Yeah, I'll miss working on murder cases and catching the bad guys. But what can I say that's how life is going to go. I'll talk to you later. Do me a favor relay all the info to the others I don't feel like sending five more messages that're just going to say hey I'm deaf see ya.

Love, Tony."

I slide my hands threw my hair as I thought to myself. You know, I packed all my stuff to sleep in to take to Gibbs', I wanted to escape all this, get away from being treated like I was a child. Then again, making love to Gibbs was a dream come true, but I didn't want a relationship that would end with him dieing on the job or where I would lose him. I walked and packed some bags with my clothes, I could get some more sleeping pants or I could just drive back and wait for him to leave the house. I walked down stairs to my car with the two bags and my back pack put them all in the trunk of my 1965 Sting Ray. I drove back to his place got out as I stretched I headed inside.

I knew that my classic car didn't have a damn tracking GPS in the car so when I left I wouldn't be able to be tracked. I walked in as I stretched out some I walked to the kitchen to get some water he was setting drinking some coffee he signed to me. "Where did you go I woke up and you were gone I got worried? You should have left me a note so I know where you went, I'll half to call Abby at the office tell her you came back."

I grabbed the pills I needed to take this morning as I downed them with some water as I moved to set down looked to him taking a deep breath and stretching he signed that I needed to eat first. I spoke. "Ate already, went for a run back to my apartment stopped off at the twenty four hour diner and had breakfast already. You don't have an internet connection so I also wanted to check my emails and other things on the net."

He nodded some as and as I stretched out he looked to me. He drank his coffee he went back to speaking as I watched his lips. Truth be told this didn't make me feel so weird about not being able to hear. "I have to go to the office until the afternoon, got some paper work to do and I need to talk to the director then I should be back. I already called Ducky he will be here in an hour to check in on you."

I nodded to him and he stood up and headed out, I ran my hands through my hair, I waited about twenty minutes after I heard his car take off. I put my other duffle bag in the car that had my night clothes along with my pills and other things I needed. I had taken a bath, I couldn't wash my hair without help, I got dressed in some jeans and a turtle neck sliding on my old leather jacket as I got in my car. I had left my badge and gun on the coffee table with a letter.

"Dear Gibbs,

Sorry I can't stick around with people looking at me and feeling sorry for me. I grabbed my meds and I have a doctor where I am going that well check me out. I'll be coming back to get my things out of my apartment or I'll be back for good we'll see. Last night will be something I won't forget and I don't regret it but me and relationships don't work well.

Tony,"

I drove off and I headed to New York City he may figure out where I am but I hoped he would honour my wishes and let me have some time to think alone. I got to New York City as I walked in to the CSI building I asked to talk to Mac Taylor and gave my name. They got a hold of him and told me to go to his office since I knew the way. I had worked as CSI for about four years and I knew how to work, Abby had always been surprised when I knew what each machine did right when I started working there. I also knew that Mac and Gibbs had fought in Desert Storm together.

I walked to his office, walked in and sat down on the chair as I slide my hands threw my hair. I leaned back and before he could say anything I decided I should say something. "Both my ear drums blew I'm deaf Mac so you're going to half to talk where I can see your lips. I had to take a break from D.C. I have a friend down here that's a doctor. Needed some time away from D.C I'm going to get me a motel room for a week or longer, we'll see. I may be moving back here not sure on that part. I wanted to tell you because I figured Gibbs is going to call you pissed to hell that I skipped out leaving a letter on his desk with my gun and badge."

I looked at him as he looked at, me sliding a hand along the back of his neck. "Gibbs already called told him I had not seen you or heard form you yet. I told him when I did I would make sure to let him know. I guess you want me to tell him that it's your right to be where you want to be." I nodded some at him. "Well then if I have to do all this, he asked me one favour to let you take my spare room while you here and make sure you see a doctor."

He tossed me his spare keys and I took a deep breath, okay, I could deal with that bit because he wasn't going to be bothering me all the time about how I was doing or to talk about my feelings. I nodded some as I took a deep breath and stood up heading out I avoided the others seeing me for now. I headed to Mac's I threw my things in his spare room. It was a long ride I climbed into some sweats and a t-shirt slid under the covers and passed out.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS. I do own Tony Sorelli.**

**Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Tony Sorelli.**

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I coasted through the first five days as I worked hard at just thinking things through and managed to sort some things out in my head. I packed my bags, I had said bye to the team the night before. I was driving home, I had a doctor's appointment that I hadn't cancelled. When I got back I went to my apartment, I had asked Mac not to tell Gibbs I had returned until tomorrow. The next day I headed to my appointment when I got there, about thirty minutes early, I saw Gibbs. He looked at me and walked over. "You doing okay? You back for good or are you moving to New York City?"

I leaned against the wall as I looked at him, I smiled some, yeah I had had some time to think to myself. I still wasn't sure about what Gibbs wanted from me but I had made my choices about where I wanted to live. I signed to him. "I am going to live in D.C, still have some things to think through, but otherwise D.C. is my home and I can't leave the family that I have found here." I walked past him as I headed in. "See you later Gibbs."

I headed in and went to find some coffee, I needed something to drink. Gibbs handed me a cup and he looked at me, brushing the hair out of my face he lowered his head and kissed me slowly, he pulled me to him slowly and I put my arms around his neck and pulled back. "I missed you."

I looked at him and touched his face for a second, he lowered his head and started to kiss me, he firmly pinned me to the wall, he then moved back, looking at me. We were not exactly in a private area so I signed to him; "Gibbs, don't think I don't care about you the way you do about me. But I am not sure about a relationship, with you or anyone. I promised myself when I was thirteen that I would die without falling in love or marrying."

I gazed at him, I didn't want to hurt him but he stroked my cheek and sighed; "I'll let you think this over, you decide if you want to be with me or you don't." I closed my eyes for a second as I started to think things through. I nodded, glad he wasn't losing his temper, he looked at me; "They're asking after you, come to the office later the team wants to see you."

He put my badge and gun in my hand and headed out, I sighed and I headed into the doctor's office. I sat there worrying that I would never hear again. The doctor started to talk, he had taken a look and he did some tests, I had started to hear something during the hearing test, not much but something. He told me it looked like my left ear was healing well but the right ear was damaged beyond repair. The left ear was probably going to heal and I would have most of my hearing back in that ear. Was going to take three weeks or longer to heal. They had healed enough so that I didn't have to have the cotton balls in my ears any more.

I got out of the elevator and made my way to the bull pen taking a deep breath and stretching some. I plopped down at the edge of my desk, well was soon to be my old desk. Gibbs wasn't there Tim and Ziva walked over smiling, I watched them both as Ziva asked first. "So how did your doctors visit go?"

I watched as Gibbs walked in, I stretched again and ran my hands through my hair, I had let it down today. I stood up undid my badge and gun walked over to Gibbs; "Boss if you don't take these I will have to talk to Vance. The doctor says my right ear is never going to heal but my left ear will heal almost completely. Sorry Boss I am not staying here because all I can do here is a desk job."

I turned around and walked back to my desk, I started to unpack my back pack, setting down all the forensics tools I had and started to load my personal gear in there. Did I want someone else joining the team and having his six besides me? Hell no, but if I stayed on desk duty I wouldn't have his back anyway. Not being able to go out in the field would drive me mad. Gibbs walked over and started to help me get my things in a box that he got cause there was too much to get in my back pack. Tim walked over looked to me he was picking at his hands. "Say what you got to McGee huh?"

He stood straight up, he knew I had called him on being nervous, he had been getting better since he worked here but something was on his mind and I knew he wanted to say it; "You trained me well Tony, thanks. You're going to stay in D.C right? So we can all stay friend's, you're not going to move back to NYC right?"

I smirked some as I looked at Tim, he was a good man and he had been a good friend. Ziva watched to see what I had to say, I ruffled my hands through my hair again and leaned back to look at him. I grabbed a bottle of water and as I took a long drag I looked at him; "I'm staying in D.C for now, you guys are family and I want to stick around until I decide it's time for me to move on. Plus I think I need to get my hearing back in my left ear then I'll figure things out more."

I grabbed my bag and slung it on my shoulders grabbing the box I walked over and kissed Tim's cheek and smiled; "Make me proud Probie, keep up the good work and be a damn good Senior Agent. Remember you have to watch your boss' back and he has to watch yours, the same goes with Ziva, you two protect yourselves. You have proved yourself and made me very proud to have been teaching you."

I walked out, he was in shock and I could tell Ziva was too, Tim had blushed as I had kissed his cheek. I would talk to Abby later I didn't really want to talk to her as well. I pressed the button and felt someone take the box from my hand, it was Gibbs. We got in the elevator, for now we were silent and we walked out to were my car was, he helped me put the things in the trunk and he stopped me; "Have dinner with me tonight, we finished this case and its Friday night, I have tomorrow off?"

I took a deep breath as I looked at him, I twiddled with my hair. I was missing time with the team and mostly Gibbs so maybe hanging out with him would work out okay; "Give me a time and a place. I'll meet you there Gibbs, I need to head out to do some business, but I can do dinner."

He told me to meet him at his place at 20:00 I nodded and I got in my car and drove off. I had some business to do and I needed to drop these things at my place. I had got to my apartment and I started to do some work when it started. I dropped to the floor in pain holding my head falling into a fetal position. I took my cell out and called Gibbs didn't know when he answered so I kept saying over and over. "Gibbs pain can't move hurts Gibbs help."

I don't know what happen next because I had passed out. When I woke up I sat up fast in bed, I was in my own room and Gibbs walked in, sat down and looked at me signin. "Ducky gave you a shot for the pain. He looked you over and he said he talked to your doctor. Apparently because your ear is healing you will get these moments of pain. But the pain well get better and it won't be so bad."

Ducky walked in and sat down, he started to take my vitals and I closed my eyes as I leaned back onto the pillows. Ducky finished what he was doing, I had opened my eyes, feeling a shot go into my arm, he looked at me, when he saw my eyes were open he started talking. "The pain will get better. I got a hold of the doctor he has told me to just give you a shot when it happens but I am worried about you living alone while your ear is healing. I wish you would stay with Gibbs he has enough vacation time he is willing to take it off."

I shook my head, hell I didn't want anyone taking care of me, I needed to learn to take care of myself. I laid down on my side as I pulled a pillow to my chest and nuzzled my head in the pillow under my head. I pulled the covers over me, I was feeling cold and I closed my eyes as I felt Ducky stand he patted my head like I was a kid. Well we were all his kids in some way, it certainly seemed most of the time.

I felt hands rubbing my back after a while, Gibbs was good at knowing when I was still awake so I sat up looked at him sighing and speaking softly. "I've been taking care of myself since I was thirteen Gibbs. I only know how to take care of myself, I don't know how to let others take care of me. I was the only person they got out of the car before it exploded, they were all dead and I have only had myself. I always thought, why get close to people so I can lose another family? But NCIS shoved me into a family and I love them all."

I started to cry softly as he pulled me in to his arms his hands slid in to my hair holding my head to his chest as I started to cry harder, I babbled about how much I missed them and I wanted my family back. I wanted Kate back she had been the sister I never had and I wanted them all back, it wasn't fair that they left me they had no right. I just clung to him trembling as I nuzzled my head in to his neck and whispered against his neck. "I know what it was like for you to lose them Gibbs it had to hurt to lose your daughter and wife. It had to tear you apart for so long, I still have not got over my parents and brother dieing like that and leaving me here. Sometimes I think I am alone."

He pulled me back so I could see his face, I could see pain in his eyes so I kissed him softly and stroked his face, I shouldn't have opened my mouth, I moved back blushing and looked at him as my fingers brushed his cheek delicately and whispered. "Sorry I know I shouldn't bring up Shannon and Kelly I know you miss them Jethro."

He wiped some tears from my face and he looked me in the face as he pulled me close but not to close were I couldn't see his lips. "I know you lost your family, that was something that I always felt a connection with you about. Yes we are your family and we all care about you. I have not let myself love another woman since Shannon but you have shown me that I can love again and it's hard to believe that I feel in love with you."

I didn't mind not hearing other peoples voices but I missed hearing Gibbs' voice. It always calmed me and made me feel safe. But know just his eyes were doing that for me. His eyes always showed that he cared for us and the toughness there wasn't that of a mean man, it was that of a leader protecting his team. "Please don't say you love me Jethro. I am not someone to have that kind of feeling for or someone to have faith that I won't hurt you. I'm not good at relationships, hell I think this is a bad idea even if I want to be with you. I would rather protect you."

He lowered his head and kissed me deeply he brought his hands along my stomach, as he pulled me on to his lap he looked in to my eyes as he kissed me again I softly moaned sliding hands along his chest. He sat me on the bed and looked me in the eyes. "Everyone that goes in to a relationship knows there is going to be pain and there is going to be joy. Don't give up please, I want to fight this 'cause I want to be with you, give me a chance please Tony, I want to have a second chance to love someone and have them close to me."

I nodded some maybe he was right he would always be there through anything with me. He kissed me slowly and pressed me to the bed as we slowly made love. I slide my hands along his chest and his body afterwards falling asleep with my head on his chest I had finally found what I needed in life a man to love and a family.

~Finished~


End file.
